Some de-cluttering going on at home – the pig barn (my studio in the garden) is looking great even if that does mean our conservatory has become a dumping ground.  With my mother’s passing just over a week ago, and gearing up for her burial (she’s asked for no funeral, just a simple prayer over the grave), I’m pleased to benefit from how much she has already sorted things to save us any difficulty.  She was a lady in control for most of her 90 years, only having to give in to the restrictions imposed by her frailty in her last few weeks and she has left us with no need for some huge sorting or difficult decisions and although we will need to dispose of some things and select some keepsakes, her affairs and belongings are very much in order.  So, I’m taking a lesson from Mom for #MyTime.  I plan to deal with things that need to be dealt with, to use up things and pass them on and surround myself with whatever I need or want.  If I’m not going to reuse and revisit, then why keep hold of “stuff”.  OK, I might regret it from time to time but better to have the clear view that comes from less clutter.

Losing a parent is something the majority of us have to deal with at one time or another – a really common event but not one many people feel prepared for even if it’s expected.  When my father died – 19 years ago now – it was so sudden and a shock for us all.  It was pretty difficult to compute and move on.  We had just a few weeks’ warning with my mother, who sadly died on Friday, but I can’t say the family was any better prepared.  Everybody needs to grieve in their own way and it’s so important to find that way for oneself but one thing I do know is that the grieving process is enhanced by remembrance and I plan to store up a heap of memories to draw on in my retirement years.  My mother marked her 90th birthday in hospital  a few weeks’ ago with a timely visit from a palliative nurse but she still managed to read all her cards and letters from friends and raise a glass and share some special time with her close family and, I think, knowing it was the beginning of her farewell to us all.

An essential bit of advice for life in general and particularly as we get older and less able – looking after oneself, taking care of stamina, energies and emotional well-being.  It’s been a hard weekend personally and this advice seems very pertinent right now but will be more so as time goes on so for #MyTime I really do want to make time for my own well-being in order to be able to do whatever I want to try.

It’s probably not the same for everyone but for those of us whose family ties have been fairly loosely knotted over the years, it can be a pleasant surprise when blood links bond in a crisis.  With my mother’s continuing ill-health resulting in hospitalisation and, by the end of this week, admission to a nursing home, I have immense value and gratitude for how our own small family has responded and worked together, with each playing their part to ease my mother’s last days, added to which there is a supporting net cast by the extended family, friends and colleagues.  So, I feel for #MyTime at week 28, I want to be mindful of keeping strong those family ties and supporting friendship – both in giving and receiving.